A chronicle of Ubuntard stupidity. » koolaid

Those who can’t, contribute.

admin — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 10:10:37 +0000

What’s the best part of Open Source? Participation! Community! Now, how’s that old saying go? Ah, yes:

Those who can, do.
Those who can’t, teach.

I think we can modify that adage to better reflect the open source community. Let me try my hand:

Those who can, develop.
Those who can’t, contribute.

Now of course, some of those contributions are worthwhile.

Helping folks find their way in IRC
Responding to questions on forums
Maintaining packages and user-created software repositories
Contributing artwork

Ah yes, that’s where I was going with this. Artwork. Ladies and gentlemen, behold. I present to you the be-all, end-all of Ubuntu wallpapers. I don’t think a soul among us can behold this masterpiece without getting at least a tiny tear in the eye.

This is the work of a true artiste. Go ahead. Click it. You can’t possibly appreciate its triumph without experiencing its full resolution.

Sarcasm aside, I think I finally know what this guy was talking about when he created this perfect gem:

Perfect.

Description:

As it seems in the community’s current state; people will slap an ubuntu logo on complete garbage, horrid images, meaningless and totally strange pictures, and the community LOVES it. After viewing the 100 thousandth UBUNTU sunset horizon, or the ‘off in the distance’ mountain with snow GDM (ubuntu snow!-GDM-MOD-clearlooks-MUST!@#) or the unforgettable ubuntu sky, or windows landscape-look alike (needs ubuntu logo -> here) I felt like posting my contribution to the ubuntu community. No need to learn, helping breed the GNU sheep, here it is.

PooBuntu-II. The final release.

I think that nicely sums up the situation.

Holy shit, new boot splash!

admin — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 08:23:05 +0000

You know what the biggest Ubuntard news is this week? Apparently, there’s a new boot splash theme to be included in Jaunty Jackalope. If you’re underwhelmed by this news, apparently you’re in the minority. This particular article gained more than 500 diggs and almost 200 comments… for some terribly watermarked screenshots (that obscure the portion of the screen that’s actually interesting) and a 20 second video of a machine booting.

Yes! An action shot of a… progress bar! I think I just jizzed in my pants. Now that’s a money shot.

Ubuntards pitch a tent over the slightest changes. Jesus christ. I think we need an RSS feed straight from Mark Shuttleworths’ toilet. I want to know the consistency, color, and texture every time he drops a deuce.

Possibly my favorite part of Softpedia’s excuse for an article is the tacky watermark right over the Ubuntu logo in screenshots of the new splash:

Brillant.

Ubuntu is the “Shiznite”

admin — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 16:28:59 +0000

Exhibit A. An ubuntard has found his holy grail and seeks affirmation of his beliefs from fellow users:

Ubuntu is the Shiznite!

Ahh, the sweet, sweet kool-aid.