The Many Breeds of Ubuntards
3 September 2009 in UncategorizedLike most religions, Ubuntu has different factions among its followers. There are the die hards, the excited newbies, the evangelists, and the old-timers among others. They may vary in degrees of knowledge, experience, willingness to learn, and maturity, but they all have one thing in common: they’re all Ubuntards.
The Die Hard
Bio: The Die Hard is out in force on Ubuntu forums and social media, commenting on blogs and tweeting about the latest upcoming Ubuntu features. The drivel this guy spews is inane and forgettable stuff, characterized by comments that treat Ubuntu as if it is the only distribution in existence. He downloaded Ubuntu 2 years ago after seeing his leet hax0r friend running fluxbox at university.
Blog Title: WTF Ubuntu FTW
Ubuntu Flavor: Ubuntu Alpha pre-release
Experience Level: Moderate
Catch Phrase: “I can’t wait for Karmic, it’s supposed to boot in 10 seconds and the new boot splash is AWESOME!”
The Excited Newbie
Bio: Newbie downloaded Ubuntu at the advice of his friend after losing his Windows partition to the typical viruses and trojans clueless users tend to pick up. Unfortunately, Ubuntu doesn’t come with a clue stick, let alone install one alongside Windows. Newbie’s cluelessness follows him into the Linux world while he posts questions and floods IRC channels with the most trivial questions. Newbie adds as many third party repositories at once as possible, eventually rendering his system as inoperable as the Windows machine he previously abandoned.
Blog Title: Coming Soon!!!!11
Ubuntu Flavor: Ubuntu via Wubi
Experience Level: Clueless
Catch Phrase: “WWOW! automatix is awesome, my nvedia gfx and dvd are werking!! btw ubuntoo is awesome!!!11eleventy”
Mr. Misinformation
Bio: Mr. Misinformation switched from Fedora years ago after getting confused by the RPM system. Unable to upgrade Gaim without tearing his installation apart package by package, he gave in and downloaded Ubuntu. While not exactly an idiot, Mr. Misinformation isn’t quite the guru he thinks he is. He hangs out in Ubuntu IRC channels and forums, answering anything the Excited Newbie can come up with. The trouble is, Mr. Information doesn’t research his answers, and often replies with half-truths or dangerous commands off the top of his head which result in unfortunate consequences for the unsuspecting noob.
Blog Title: Ubuntu Tips and Trix
Ubuntu Flavor: Any ‘buntu – Latest Stable
Experience Level: Just Enough…
Catch Phrase: “Oh, you need to clear your firefox profile. Just rm -rf ~ /.mozilla and you’ll be good to go.” (Ed: Notice the space after ‘~’)
The Evangelist
Bio: The Evangelist almost understands the GNU philosophy, but really gets off on the concept of the African word and philosphy of ubuntu itself. She is mainly a user of mailing lists, interjecting with questions about how best to get her local school running Ubuntu to save money and topple the evil Microsoft monopoly. Typically,the Evangelist is easy to take in small doses, but spending too much time around her can begin to grate. There are only so many times you can be told to refer to Linux as GNU/Linux without wanting to bash her head in.
Blog Title: Ubuntu for the Masses
Ubuntu Flavor: CrunchBang on a P-II 300MHz
Experience Level: Clueless to Clueful
Catch Phrase: “It’s really unfair that Linux Torvolds gets all the credit for our movement — please give credit where it’s due and refer to this as GNU/Linux. That’s with a hard G, as in gifted.”
The Poser
Bio: The Poser doesn’t actually run Ubuntu, but that doesn’t stop him from expounding on it. A frequent of Digg.com, Poser likes to chime in on articles related to Linux in order to feel like one of the crowd. Perhaps he doesn’t quite have the guts to run without Windows yet, or maybe he uses a Mac and suffers from multiple personality disorder. The Poser is characterized by commenting on an article, blog post, or social media item without actually adding any opinions or substance.
Blog Title: Just Another Wordpress Blog
Ubuntu Flavor: Snow Leopard / Windows 7
Experience Level: N/A
Catch Phrase: “Wow! This is useful! Great blog!”
The Old Timer
Bio: The Old Timer has seen and done it all. He’s an old-school retired Solaris or HP-UX admin who’s spent one too many days behind a CRT. You wonder if his brain may be melting from the EMF those old green-screen teletypes used to pump out. Regardless, this guy knows his stuff, but sticks to Ubuntu because he can’t be bothered to administrate his systems anymore. Ubuntu is safe and easy, and in his old age, that’s the way he likes it.
Blog Title: Our Vacation Pictures
Ubuntu Flavor: Vanilla Ubuntu
Experience Level: Masterful, but unwilling
Catch Phrase: “Where can I find a Korn shell .deb?”
The Graduate
Bio: The Graduate has been running Ubuntu since its early days, and is ready to get out. Tired of all the characters above, the Graduate is experimenting with Arch Linux, FreeBSD, Red Hat, and Slackware on his quad-core rig with VirtualBox. Nearing enlightenment, he takes a deep breath and fires up fdisk to repartition his Ubuntu drive.
Blog Title: Development with C++
Ubuntu Flavor: Ubuntu, Coaster Edition
Experience Level: His Kung-Fu is Strong
Catch Phrase: “So long, suckas.”
25 Comments to The Many Breeds of Ubuntards
Trackbacks / Pingbacks
Leave a comment
Subscribe to receive your Secret Decoder Ring!
Follow our Twats
No WWW - For a better web
- Wikipedia, Notability, and Open Source Software, Part 2
20 March 2010 - Wikipedia, Notability, and Open Source Software
17 March 2010 - Real Linux advocates see shades of grey.
8 December 2009 - Command Line Idiocy
5 December 2009 - Choosing an OS is Not a Team Sport
29 November 2009
- Steve:
I stumbled onto this blog while reading some of my normal "news" regarding the L... - Kris Gesling:
Sorry but I just to join the campaign for reason and logic but I couldn't stand ... - Amy:
haha.. Well. Good to see that ya're finally up and running again. :D And i prom... - Steve:
Having personally given up on any kind of volunteering in 2006 it should be note... - forkbomb:
I've given up on editing Wikipedia excepting those occasional situations where I...
1st suckas
“Regardless, this guy knows his stuff, but sticks to Ubuntu because he can’t be bothered to administrate his systems anymore.”
Administrate?
Is that like misunderestimate?
Funny little list of stereotypes but where is Mr. Mainstream who runs it for its simplicity and stability but doesn’t make any fuss about it?
And where is my grandma who doesn’t really care as long as her computer appears to run without trouble.
HAHAHA, best post ever!
‘-tard’ suffix? “Religion”? – “Physician heal thyself”
By your measure, anyone who were to prop up a wobbly table with a hymn book would be an implacable religious zealot. Of course, when you have no basis for an argument, name-calling has become the strategy of choice. You must be a Fox News fan.
What about Mr. Butthurt who is so obsessed that he makes a blog dedicated to categorize a popular Linux distro users (not his) and look down on them? God forbid mere mortals enter his exclusive superiority domain.
Anyone who uses Ubuntu must be a retard!
Soooo….which obscure little distro does the author use ? Hysteria linux, perhaps ?
wait for canonical’s cease and deceased order
for using the ubu * domain name..
Welcome back, I thought this blog was gone forever.
It is no wonder that we will not see the year of the Linux desktop anytime soon with article’s like yours. The Linux community will always be fragmented with all of the distro’s available, but you just succeed in pushing it further apart. Linux wants success, but when it starts to happen (with some distro’s) you all dump on it, just because it does not quite fit your ideal……why don’t you just grow up !!!
Hahahaha! Great. You love writing huh? Think I am a little Die Hard, still have a lot of Noob excitment even after a couple years of solid Ubuntu use…but that Graduate idea is looking fun… thanks for labeling us…can never have enough…labels. Hohoho.
I recently switched from ubuntu to archlinux, but it was not in any way due to “above personas”. I simply switched because some of my hardware (soundcard specifically) worked a little better in Arch and I was ready to start learning how to manually do things that ubuntu used to do for me.
Ubuntu is a great distro for people that want to start using linux, but don’t know enough to manually install X, drivers and peripherals without a helpful GUI. I would strongly recommend that anyone who considers themself a “computer superuser” use ubuntu, then migrate to something else. But for the grandmas, joe smiths and “I just need something that works”, ubuntu is probably the best bet.
DarwinSurvivor – I could name 3 distributions off the top of my head better for the “just works” crowd than Ubuntu: Mint, SuSE, and I am sad to say this, Freespire, which could be an even more retarded distribution than Ubuntu.
The only thing I think Ubuntu should be used for is a stepping stone for people to learn (If Canonical ever lets them.) before switching to a real distribution that works a lot better. Since the 8 series Ubuntu’s been failing hard in terms of quality.
If you’re too afraid to actually learn how to use a computer for once stay with Winbloat or Crap OS X. Linux is not for the faint of heart.
May the great corporate computer mistress to America be revealed for the money-whore she really is to American boys and girls! I love Ubuntu!
I KNOW THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE TONGUE-IN-CHEEK BUT MY ABSOLUTE REFUSAL TO RECOGNIZE HUMOR ON THE INTERNET FORBIDS ME TO LET THIS GO WITHOUT A WORD.
SPURF
THANK GOD I MANAGED TO COMMENT, NOW THE WHOLE WORLD WILL KNOW THAT I’M COOL ENOUGH TO HAVE AN OPINION ON THE INTERNET.
I guess i fall under the Graduate. I used buntu from 5x on till Jaunty. I beta tested Karmic briefly, wasnt impressed. After many long conversations with a friend and frustrations with trying to customize ubuntu’s packages even a little (try removing evolution…) I had had enough. The solution? Archlinux. I finally have a system that does what and how i want it. I’ve installed gnome without evolution! And the pacman package system is just superior to apt-get.
While I would never ever suggest archlinux to anyone with probably less than a year or two of general linux use, ubuntu is a great and easy way to get that experience. There are just enough scenarios that can lead up to and prepare someone to move on (if they desired) to something more tailored to their needs/hardware.
The rotator…
Downloads every distribution out there, over and over again, looking for the best, strongest, easiest, one he can find.Always cycles back to Ubuntu because it resembles MS Windows so much.
This is interesting. An entire site dedicated to slagging off Ubuntu evangelists. I like the way you’ve got the colour scheme down…
I’m going to say that I don’t like ANY of the choices today’s computers give you. Windows 7 seems really nice and I have Machines running Vista Ultimate, Win 7 RC7100 and Ubuntu 9.04 with all the eye candy turned on and a little Wind PC running an Ubuntu server with Media Tomb on it… I like all the machines for different reasons.
Gaming sucks on Linux, but I love the way it’s so modular and packages can be added and removed to make your system really lean. It’s certainly not as easy as Windows or Mac OSX, but I’m waiting for them all to improve.
Windows should add the cool features of Linux or even write a GUI for Linux which is solid and uses all of the neat features of Compiz… I’d buy it. The Linux kernel rocks and my Wind PC has been up for 6 months without an issue.
My Vista machine is really cool and I am a PC gaming nut, so I need Windows for that. I hate console gaming, even though I have a PS3.
Like the site… it’s funny..
Love hearing from all the butthurt Linux fanboys.
“OMG, U DISSED MY SYSTEM ‘N INSTEAD OF MAKING A BETTER RESPONSE, OR NOT RESPONDING AT ALL, I DECIDED 2 CRY ABOUT IT AND CALL U A STOOPID HEAD.”
Cry some more 14 year old outcasts.
thumbs up!